Monday, May 02, 2005

Bad pizza ...

Mr. Sin just sealed the deal on his new Brooklyn Heights apartment. This opens up a whole new world of food, but, harshly, less funds to enjoy them with. So, let's talk pizza. I'll mention some good pizza, but mostly, let's talk about that thing so rare some claim it doesn't exist: bad pizza.

I currently live in St. Louis, where the second worst pizza in the world is made. St. Louis style, for those of you who've never had it, consists of a thin, brittle crust, diabetically sweet tomato sauce and the cheesestuff known as Provel. Provel is cheese from a harsh dystopian future: it might go great with Solent Green. In proper doses, it can be mildly enjoyable, as most cheesestuffs can be. A good St. Louis-style pizza is tolerable, but it doesn't qualify as pizza in my brain. When I say, "I want pizza," it means I've already excluded the possiblity of St. Louis-style.

Not that there aren't great pizzas made here in the MO. Down the road in Columbia is Shakespeare's pizza, which I consider to be the finest I've ever had. It's thin (for the real world, in St. Louis it would be called thick), and their wheat crust has a bite of flavor without the mealy-mouthed dryness that other whole-grain crusts can get. Their pepperoni is hand-sliced, nice and thick. If you ever happen to stop in, I recommend a wheatcrust pepperoni and peppercheese ... so totally sinful, ropes of spicy cheese and full bites of pepperoni, with a full-blooded sauce and the crisp, cornmealed crust (cornmeal on the bottom is another thing that usually bothers me that Shakespeare's does right). Beer's cheap, too.

St. Louis-style, however, is only the second-worst pizza. The first is, obviously, Chicago style. Perhaps if I'd been trapped in the Andes with only frozen human flesh to nosh on, Chicago-style would sound good to me. Until then, I stay away from what amounts to a soggy loaf of bread with cheese on it. I'll eat Totino's frozen pizza-discs before I'd eat Chicago style. In pizza, as in politics, it's good to ignore the extremes.

But New York ... ah, New York. I understand that it is a town in which it is very difficult to make it, so difficult in fact that if you are able to indeed make it there, you'll probably find sucess in any other place that you might try to make it later. But they got lots of pizza.

I found this quote from the above linked Slice NY. It's from a girl with a pizza inked on the back of her neck (sigh):

"I worked in ice-cream before this and I always say if you're not in ice cream, pizza or the medical profession, you're not doing humanity any good. If I wasn't in ice cream or pizza, I'd have to be a doctor and I don't want to be a doctor."

1 Comments:

Blogger Tom said...

I agree that St. Louis style pizza is the worst around. However, I had one of the best pizzas of my life in Chicago, so I like it. But New York is a true pizza lover's paradise. You really can't go wrong on nearly any corner in any borough. It's the best.
You'll see.

Cheers.

6:25 PM  

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